My Mother And I

My Mother, Myself?

My mother and I looked alike which was not a bad thing. However, that is where I would have hoped the similarity would end. But, no. More and more I experience the awareness that I am behaving like her. Are my genes making me act like my mother? Why am I acting like my mother? My mother myself: is independence impossible?

Have you ever been struck with the realization that as you age you are becoming your Mother  – or your Father? How like my mother am I?  I often see her looking back at me in the mirror and most recently I see patterns in her life emerging that resemble my own. This is the disturbing part, that despite my quest to be different, and although she has passed, she lives on in me.

There is some irony in the fact that as youngsters we longed for independence. That independence often meant removing ourselves geographically from our parents and avoiding any resemblance to them. We would blaze our own path – to be our own exclusive creation – not theirs.

Fast forward to our senior years where we reflect on life’s journey and existential meaning. It is here we often recognize patterns in our lives that are similar to those of our parents. And as hard as we endeavored to be distinct, in reality, we are but a composite of our inherited genetics. And inescapably, in many ways, we have become our parents.

Who believed that our personality traits and even our life paths would be so influenced by our genetic inheritance? Actually, it turns out that environmental factors play a larger role in concert with our genes for determining who are and what we become. Scientists are telling us that genetics have a greater influence than that of our parents!

My Mother Is Myself? Hold the Phone…

A fearless optimist, my mother, always curious about life and eager to learn and experience new things into her nineties, was enthused about life even in her dying days. I am not fearless but I am an optimist and still fascinated by what life offers. I don’t anticipate going quietly into that rocking chair in the corner.

I also feel that both my Mother and I tended to be unstable and flighty in our younger years, hers being the result of an incurable romanticism and mine the consequence of an unstable upbringing and little sense of reality.

Creative to her very core in visual arts, my mother’s talent must have skipped my generation and landed in my son’s who too is a reservoir of creative energy.

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably inherited something from your family. It could be a physical trait or a personality quirk.

Hereditary Personality Characteristics

When it comes to personality, there is no doubt that genetics play a role. While it’s true that your environment and experiences shape who you are, research illustrates that certain personality traits are heritable. In fact, twin and family studies have shown that personality traits are moderately heritable, meaning that they are influenced by genetic factors.

So, what personality traits are we likely to inherit? According to research, some of the most heritable traits include:

  • Extroversion: This trait refers to how outgoing and sociable you are. If you have a genetic predisposition towards extroversion, you may find it easier to make friends and enjoy social situations.
  • Neuroticism: On the other end of the spectrum, neuroticism affects how sensitive you are to negative emotions like anxiety and fear. A genetic predisposition towards neuroticism may find you overwhelmed by stress and more prone to anxiety and depression.
  • Conscientiousness: This trait refers to how organized, responsible, and reliable you are. A genetic predisposition towards conscientiousness will see you more likely setting goals and working hard to achieve them.
  • Agreeableness: This trait refers to how friendly, cooperative, and empathetic you are.  With a genetic predisposition towards agreeableness, you may find it easier to get along with others and be more compassionate towards their needs.
  • Openness: This trait refers to how curious, creative, and open-minded you are.  A genetic predisposition toward openness will see you enjoying new experiences and being more imaginative.

The Process of Inheritance

Inheritance is the transfer of genetic information from parent to child. This process is responsible for passing on physical traits, such as eye and hair color, as well as certain health conditions, from one generation to the next.

The process of inheritance begins at conception when a sperm from the father fertilizes an egg from the mother. Each parent contributes one set of 23 chromosomes to their offspring, with each chromosome containing thousands of genes. These genes determine everything from physical characteristics to susceptibility to certain diseases.

The sex of the child is determined by the sex chromosomes inherited from the parents. Females inherit two X chromosomes, one from each parent. Males inherit one X chromosome from their mother and one Y chromosome from their father.

Influence of Genetics on Appearance and Personality

Genetics plays a significant role in determining both your appearance and personality. While environmental factors can influence these traits, research suggests that genetics account for a large portion of the differences between individuals.

Appearance

Your physical appearance is largely determined by your genes. Traits such as eye color, hair color, and height are all influenced by your genetic makeup. For example, if both of your parents have blue eyes, you are more likely to have blue eyes as well. Similarly, if your parents are tall, you are more likely to be tall as well.

Genetics also play a role in determining your susceptibility to certain physical traits. For example, some people are more prone to developing wrinkles or baldness due to their genetic makeup.

Personality

Personality traits are also influenced by genetics. Research has shown that genetics accounts for about half of the differences in personality test results. This means that certain personality traits, such as extroversion or introversion, may be more common in certain families due to shared genetic traits.

It’s important to note that while genetics can influence personality, environmental factors also play a role. For example, a child who is naturally introverted may become more outgoing raised in an environment that encourages extroverted behavior.

Overall, genetics play a significant role in determining both your appearance and personality. While environmental factors can also influence these traits, it’s important to recognize the impact that genetics have on who you are as a person.

Impact of Other Factors:

Lifestyle Factors

Lifestyle factors such as diet, exercise, and smoking can affect your genetics. For example, a poor diet can lead to epigenetic changes that increase the risk of chronic diseases such as diabetes and heart disease. Exercise, on the other hand, can lead to epigenetic changes that improve your health and reduce the risk of chronic diseases.

Smoking is another lifestyle factor that can affect your genetics. Smoking can cause DNA damage and increase the risk of cancer. It can also lead to epigenetic changes that affect gene expression and increase the risk of various diseases.

Intelligence

Intelligence is a complex trait that is influenced by both genetics and environment. While genetics can play a role in determining your IQ, environmental factors such as education and upbringing can also have a significant impact. However, studies have shown that genetics can account for up to 80% of the variation in intelligence between individuals.

Environmental Factors

Environmental factors such as stress and exposure to toxins can also impact your genetics. Chronic stress can lead to epigenetic changes that affect gene expression and increase the risk of various diseases. Exposure to toxins such as pesticides, lead, and mercury can also cause DNA damage and affect gene expression.

Education is another environmental factor that can affect your genetics. Studies have shown that education can lead to epigenetic changes that improve cognitive function and reduce the risk of age-related cognitive decline.

Aging is a natural process that can also affect your genetics. As you age, your DNA accumulates damage, leading to gene expression changes and an increased risk of age-related diseases. However, some lifestyle factors such as exercise and a healthy diet can help slow down the aging process and reduce the risk of age-related diseases.

In conclusion, your lifestyle and environment can have a significant impact on your genetics. By making healthy lifestyle choices and reducing exposure to harmful environmental factors, you can improve your health and reduce the risk of chronic diseases.

Dietary Choices

My mother who was always a health nut, was also one of the first hippies before hippiedom was a thing. She excelled at making healthy, wholesome meals, gardened wherever she lived, and ensured we only consumed healthy choices. I would be sent to school with baked soybeans as a snack food, to the amusement of my classmates who would point and ask: “WHAT’S THAT?!!” My mother’s role model lives on in me and I too tried to make healthy choices when cooking for my children, one son exclaiming in exasperation before dinner one evening: “Not another meatless meal!”

Kids eating their vegetables

Child eating broccoli

But genetics are just one piece of the puzzle when it comes to personality. Your environment, upbringing, and life experiences all play a role in shaping who you are. However, understanding your genetic predispositions can help you better understand yourself and how to navigate the world around you.

Are my genes making me act like my mother? Yes. In spite of my attempts to be unlike her in some areas of my life, she lives on in me – in ways welcome and unwelcome – determined by forces beyond my control.